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John Palcewski's Journal

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Journalism is—or at least ought to be—simply telling the truth. As opposed to lying. Like my father lied, when he told me my mother was dead. When he called her a whore. Especially when he drunkenly insisted he loved me.

When your father lies, you never get completely over it. Because you know a liar is the opposite of an omnipotent loving god, who is supposed to be there to protect you. A liar will throw you to the wolves, leave you to die.

As a child I was surrounded by lies. Which is why I was strongly drawn to newspaper reporting, which at one time held that the truth and its verification was the ultimate goal. Verification is the key word here. It’s why as a boy I saved up my odd-job money and bought a Gilbert microscope. With it I saw that the skin of an onion—precisely as the biology textbook said—was made up of cells containing a nucleus and mitochondria.

Verifying this biological allegation for myself made me feel good. And safe.

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Sometimes there's no substitute for the empirical method. So few can take someone's word for it nowadays.

I agree with you there.....

To this day my father just doesn't seem to really care to be in my or my children's lives. It's very sad.

Maybe being a father at such a young age and mom being pregnant and him 'having' to marry her.

Oh well... probably why I have always gotten involved with older men.

You aren't alone.

Paradoxically, the more you learn about a father's reasons for his hateful behavior, the less pain you'll experience. In my case, though, it didn't fully stop until he was dead.

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