I’m reading the Roman stoics. Epictetus. Zeno. Chrysippus. And most especially the Roman Bishop Hippolytus.
The Bishop says that a dog chained to a moving cart can elect to follow, but at the same time it is also pulled, thus making its spontaneous act coincide with necessity. But if the dog does not wish to go, it will nevertheless be dragged along. So the moral of the story is that even if we resist, we all are compelled to follow what is destined.
Yes, I am compelled. And—like what Dickinson said about great pain—a formal feeling comes. A weight is against my chest. I can’t move, I can’t breathe.
Disappointments and losses often seem like anomalies, a departure from the norm. Sooner or later you understand, however, that the true anomaly is happiness. That’s the sense of life I have at the moment.